Who's Your Super Hero?

Today's challenge is about Super Hero's.  When I was growing up I really liked The Green Hornet and his sidekick Kato.  Who was your favorite super hero growing up?

Now-A-day's I have a completely different kind of hero.  I want to introduce you to one of my current hero's.  Her name is Kathy Haueisen.  She's a friend of mine who has been through some similar things I've been through.  I asked her to write a guest blog and I'm going to share it with you here.  I hope you find her to be a hero too.

Do you know anyone who's been through a divorce? A combination of factors since the mid-1900’s have made divorce common. After my divorce I felt like I imagine Dorothy did when she woke up somewhere over the rainbow in the Land of Oz. Every aspect of life changed. Pre-divorce I moved about in the world of married folks from the home base I shared with a man I considered my best friend. When that came to an abrupt halt home base filled with new experiences – some of which I could have done without.

            Figuring out how to spend the holidays was particularly challenging. So was deciding how to handle family events such as confirmations, birthdays and funerals. Then there was the learning curve about what, when and how much to say about what happened.

            I knew about insecurity, self-doubt and worry before the divorce, of course. I well remember the panic I felt when my daughter and I were separated during a shopping trip when she was barely a teenager. I remember the fear I felt when a stranger made obscene calls to the house that my daughters intercepted. However, prior to the divorce, I do not recall ever having a full-fledged anxiety attack in which I was afraid for no specific reason.

            Post-divorce I many anxieties gnawed at me. Would I run out of money before I ran out of bills? Would I bounce checks? What if I got sick in the middle of the night and couldn’t reach a phone to call for help? What should I do about the ominous noises coming from the attic?  While these were hardly earth-shattering problems, they eroded my sense of confidence and well-being.

            Time really does heal many wounds. Part of my healing came though writing the novel Asunder about divorce, dating and re-marrying later in life. Asunder tracks the recovery of Ellie, the main character who divorces after thirty years of marriage. She is a nervous wreck as she gathers her adult children to announce she’s getting married again. Then, through a family crisis, she slowly finds her way back to a place of hope and healing.

            The accompanying discussion guide explores how unrealistic expectations about marriage set up people up for marital disappointments. The church is often a source of tremendous support for divorced people; but can also add distress when divorced people are either ignored or shamed for failing at this basic human relationship. The accompanying study guide explores what scriptures really say about divorce and addresses the many changes in assumptions about marriage – and divorce – through the ages from Biblical times to the present.

            The main thing I’ve learned is that divorce is not the end. It is the beginning of a whole new world waiting to be explored. That new world isn’t somewhere over the rainbow. It’s right over the threshold of home. Nor does it require a pair of ruby slippers to travel there. Rather, it takes courage to open the door, step outside, and greet the new world waiting on the other side.

Asunder: A Novel Approach to Divorce Recovery is available locally in Houston at Blue Willow and River Oaks book stores, from Amazon, or the publisher at www.blueocotillo.com. It will soon be available as an e-book from Amazon. The author is available to speak with your group on this topic.